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  • The Facts on Cyber Bullying

    CyberBullyingCyber bullying is the newest type of bullying and has not been studied as much as traditional forms of bullying. Many children report being bullied via the internet or cell phone and the effects can be devastating. Children also report that bullies spread rumors and say other mean things about them online where many different people can see it. The potential audience for cyber bullying is unlimited making it even more appealing to bullies. Bullies will also threaten their victims online and belittle them for their own amusement.

    Girls are twice as likely as boys to be cyber bullies as well as be targeted by cyber bullies. Normally boys are the most likely children to bully others but this is not true with cyber bullying. Boys tend to physically bully others while girls use emotional methods, which can be perfectly carried out over the computer. Cyber bullying also can be anonymous and many children who are the victims of cyber bullying never know who was bullying them. Cyber bullying is not restricted to school either, it can happen anywhere children have access to computers or cell phones. Bullying used to be confined to school, but with cyber bullying can now reach children anywhere.

    Cyber bullying commonly occurs in IM’s and in chat rooms. Cyber bullying can also occur in blogs and on websites when a bully posts damaging things about their victim. The internet makes bullying easy and bullies can torment victims in new ways. Using the internet gives cyber bullies an even more devious way to humiliate others than traditional bullying. About half of pre teens tell an adult about their experiences with cyber bullying and this number drops as children get older. Cyber bullying also makes it easier for the victim to retaliate against the bully as they can just as easily post their own damaging responses. This ease of use makes perpetuating the bullying cycle more common. This is not necessarily the best idea, as it will probably make the bullying worse and only reinforce the idea that bullying is ok.

    Cyber bullying can affect anyone and the same stereotypes that apply to traditional bullying do not apply to cyber bullying. Cyber bullies can pick on anyone, even those more confident and popular than themselves. Cyber bullies can even pick on children older and bigger than them because of the anonymous nature of the internet. If a cyber bully wants to hurt another person, the internet gives them the perfect vehicle to do so.

    Parents must take steps to stop and prevent cyber bullying just like other types of bullying. Any form of bullying can have serious consequences and cyber bullying can be particularly dangerous because it can reach so many people and be so humiliating. Take cyber bullying seriously so that your child does not fall victim, or bully others. Make your child aware that cyber bullying is unacceptable and if they are the target they should tell an adult right away. Taking action quickly is the best way to stop cyber bullying before it gets out of hand.

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  • My Take on Building Character and Integrity

    thIt has been said that character is defined by what we do when we think no one is watching. What an illuminating concept!.  I believe that most of us have a public face and a private face. There are parts of ourselves we don’t want the world to see. Typically, we tend to hide the aspects that would not be viewed favorably by society. Greed, lust, jealousy, pettiness, fear and so on. We also tend to hide our weaknesses.

    I also believe that most people are “good” at their core; decent, loving, compassionate and kind. However, even those we perceive to be good people are capable of unspeakable acts.  How many times have we heard a convicted murderers family member or friend say, “I just can’t believe he would be capable of something like that. It’s so unlike him.” The killer projected one identity to the world while secretly he was someone else entirely.

    Darion Marcus Aguilar’s family and friends said the same thing about him.  On the morning of January 26, 2014, Aguilar climbed into a taxi in Burtonsville, Maryland. He carried a backpack and a pump-action, pistol-grip shotgun, a Mossberg 12-gauge.  Just 19 years old, Aguilar was a 2013 graduate of James Hubert Blake High School in Silver Spring.  He was scheduled to work early Saturday, at a Dunkin’ Donuts, but by day’s end, his mother, having tried again and again to reach him, finally reported him missing to the police. Aguilar kept a journal in which he wrote of his dissatisfaction with his life, according to police, and fatally shot two employees of a clothing shop. Then he turned the shotgun on himself.

    Most of us are not murderers. Yet, even those of us who would be considered “good people” often think nothing of stealing, cheating on our spouse, or worse.  What does that say about our character? Is it wrong only if we get caught?  How many times have we done something that we probably wouldn’t have done if others had been there to see it?  Would we feel embarrassed if these things were brought to public awareness?  Did we act on our impulses only because we felt sure no one would ever find out?

    The Bible tells us that sin entered the world in the Garden of Eden. In the Christian religion, sin refers to that which displeases or dishonors God. The Ten Commandments warn us against adultery, theft, murder and more. Supposedly if we follow that list, we will remain in God’s good graces.  Remember, they are not called “The Ten Suggestions!”

    In some religions, there is only one commandment: Harm None; which basically covers all angles in two words. Do nothing that would cause harm to yourself or another. Seems simple enough, yet, in both of these examples, there are gray areas, aren’t there?  Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s right or wrong.  If we find money on the street and pick it up, is that stealing? Does it make a difference if it was $5.00 or $500.00?  If we lie to protect someone’s feelings, is that wrong?  If we take some paper clips or pens home from the office, is that stealing? Does it “harm” the company, really?  If we flirt with someone other than our spouse, or fantasize about them, is that cheating?  Or is cheating only the physical act of sexual intercourse?

    In situations like these, how do we really know the right course of action? How do we balance integrity with our impulses and desires? I think it helps to examine the motives and possible consequences. What is our intent in this situation? What do we hope to gain from it? Could our actions harm another, or our self? If our actions became public knowledge, would we be okay with that?

    Maybe some of you are thinking, “What’s the big deal? So what if I take a few things from work, or cheat on my wife?  What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” That may be true, but does it hurt you in the long run?  Do those actions detract from the kind of person you are? Don’t they dim your inner light? If it’s true that we are all connected, then isn’t it also true that harming another means harming ourselves? By disrespecting others, we disrespect ourselves.  But more importantly, are we disrespecting God?

    Personally, I don’t believe that God is angry and judgmental, sitting up in heaven waiting to cast us into the pits of Hell for our transgressions. I do believe, however, that there will be a final “review” of our lives, and we will have to answer for the things we’ve done. But I think we will be our own judges. In the deepest part of ourselves, we do know right from wrong.

    We are not perfect, and no one is expecting us to be. We all make mistakes and do things we are later ashamed of. We are human, after all.  But there is a big difference between making a mistake and purposely doing something we know is wrong.  We may try to fool ourselves at times and justify our actions. Maybe your wife doesn’t respond to you the way that she used to, so you try to convince yourself that it’s okay to “hook up” with a woman who does. Or maybe your husband doesn’t pay much attention to you so it’s okay to have an affair with a man who does.  Perhaps your employer gives you a crappy raise, so you decide to make up for it in other ways, like stealing supplies or fudging your time sheet. They asked for it, right? You certainly have the right to do these things, and probably no one will stop you. Our greatest gift in life is Free Will. Unfortunately, it can also be our greatest curse. There are always consequences to our actions, whether they come now or later.

    In the end, it’s all a matter of personal accountability. Do we want to be a person of character, or not? It doesn’t matter if we get caught or not. What matters is that we are defined by our actions. If I take something that doesn’t belong to me, I am a thief. If I cheat on my spouse, I am an adulterer. If I don’t want to get caught, I probably shouldn’t do these things in the first place. The truth always has a way of making itself known, but that’s just my take.

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  • THE STATE OF OUR UNION

    thOn Tuesday, January 28, 2014, President Barack Obama delivered a masterful State of the Union Address.  In addition to laying out specific accomplishments over the past five years, the President covered everything from ending the war in Afghanistan to closing Guantanamo.  He also confronted the Republican Congress for letting more than a million workers miss out on unemployment insurance last month.  After saying the benefits system should be reformed to be more effective in today’s economy, the President said to lawmakers: “This Congress needs to restore the unemployment insurance you just let expire for 1.6 million people.”  I agree.

    The President laid out several specific initiatives that could and should be accomplished this year.  He stated further that in areas where Congress will not act, he would through the issuance of Executive Orders and other administrative actions; he even identified some that were in process .  The President also said that, “We know our economy is stronger when our wives, mothers, and daughters can live their lives free from discrimination in the workplace, and free from the fear of domestic violence. Today, the Senate passed the Violence Against Women Act that Joe Biden originally wrote almost 20 years ago. I urge the House to do the same. And I ask this Congress to declare that women should earn a living equal to their efforts, and finally pass the Paycheck Fairness Act this year.” It doesn’t seem fair to me that women earn seventy-seven cents for every dollar men make even though both are doing the same work.  Unfortunately, many in the Republican caucus apparently believe that women do not deserve to be on an income parity with men.  That might be one of the reasons why some refer to the Republican Party as the “good ole boys” network.

    For the first time in its history, Republican leaders allowed a women to give the official Republican response to the State of the Union Address by herself.  House Republican Conference Chair Cathy McMorris Rodgers was the person selected.  This selection apparently came as the Republican Party attempts to strengthen its image among women.  This past December, House Republican leaders met with top aides to GOP congressional candidates to teach them “to be a little more sensitive” on the campaign trail.  “You know, you look around the Congress, there are a lot more females in the Democratic caucus than there are in the Republican conference,” Boehner said at a December press conference. “And some of our members just aren’t as sensitive as they ought to be.” 

    While Boehner’s comments are laudable and the Republican Party should be sensitive to the needs and aspirations of women, it seems hypocritical to me that on the same day as Rodgers was to give her response, Boehner’s Republican House passed the No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act, which denies tax credits to small businesses and middle-class families if their health plans include abortion coverage, and imposes a tax increase on women who need abortion care.  It also makes permanent abortion bans that prevent millions of women — such as those enrolled in Medicaid, federal employees and residents of the District of Columbia — from having health insurance coverage that includes abortion care.  Would you believe that all of the sponsors of this bill were men?  In fact, during the hearings, not one woman was allowed to speak.  How is that for sensitivity training?  These and similar actions clearly reveal to me that some Republicans continue to prosecute some kind of war on women’s rights.  However, Tea Party Republican Senator Rand Paul said that if there was a war on women, then the women won because all of the women in his family are doing very well. A really dim-witted comment.

    In addition to spending a good deal of her time talking about herself and her family, Rogers attacked the President’s healthcare law, known as ‘Obamacare’ which Republicans have tried to delay and repeal almost 50 times.  “The President’s policies are making people’s lives harder. We’ve all talked to too many people who’ve received cancellation notices they didn’t expect or who can no longer see the doctors they always have. No, we shouldn’t go back to the things — the way things were, but this law is not working” Rogers said. Of course, she didn’t bother to mention the more than nine million Americans who now have quality health care thanks to Obamacare.

    During her response, Rogers claimed that Republicans have plans that focus on jobs first without more spending, government bailouts, and red tape…She said, “every day, we’re working to expand our economy, one manufacturing job, nursing degree and small business at a time. We have plans to improve our education and training systems so you have the choice to determine where your kids go to school…so college is affordable…and skills training is modernized.” Yet she did not identify not even one specific Republican plan; just more rhetoric.  She did say, however, that “we shouldn’t go back to the way things were.”  Could she be suggesting the slightest possibility that there could be improvements made in the healthcare law?  Probably just wishful thinking on my part.

    I believe that the Republican Party is in deep trouble mainly because of the influence of the Tea Party, and it will be a very long time before this country has another Republican president.  A strong indicator that leads me to this belief is based on what recently happened in Virginia when the Democrats took control of the entire Executive Branch including the governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general offices.  I also believe that the American people are tired of a do-nothing Congress that spends most of its time (when its members are in Washington), either trying to repeal Obamacare, attacking women’s rights, shutting down the government, penalizing the middle class, and basically refusing to even allow Senate passed legislation to be brought up for a House vote. 

    In spite of the Republican state gerrymandering practices that attempt to establish a political advantage by manipulating district boundaries to create partisan advantaged districts, and the hundreds of millions of dollars being spent under the auspices of the Koch brothers, here are my predictions for the 2014 and 2016 elections:  the Democrats will retain control of the Senate, Nancy Pelosi will again become the Speaker of the House, and in 2016, Hillary Clinton will become the first female President of the United States, but that’s just my take.

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